12/29/2000
2/18/2008
| LISTS
12/29/2000 2/18/2008 |
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“I don’t know what to think,” said Tom listlessly.
| Candidates for Oblivion: Expressions I Would Be Pleased Never to Hear Again |
| w | “prolly” for “probably” |
| w | happy camper |
| w | snail mail |
| w | “no problem” as a substitute for “you’re welcome” |
| w | “dearly departed” instead of “dear departed” (obvious confusion with “dearly beloved”) |
| w | have the bandwidth to . . . |
| w | . . . get my arms around . . . |
| w | . . . what’s on my plate |
| w | “We have to do due diligence” or, worse, “We have to do diligence.” |
| w | “normalcy” for “normality” |
| w | “preventative” for “preventive” |
| w | “orientated” for “oriented” |
| w | “look-a-like,” “sing-a-long,” “tel-a-thon,” and all their misbegotten cousins |
| w | and an assortment of common malapropisms: “venue” for “location,” “sensual” for “sensuous,” “closure” for “closing” (“early closure of the office”), “oversight” for “supervision,” and “expatriot” for “expatriate” |
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| Some Things I Truly Believe |
| w | No learning is wasted. |
| w | There’s nothing that can’t be improved by the addition of chocolate. |
| w | There’s no product so stupid that somebody won’t pay money for it. |
| w | There’s no notion so dumb that someone won’t believe it. |
| w | Nothing, absolutely nothing, is as simple as it ought to be. |
| w | If it’s gratitude you want, you don’t keep a cat. |
| w | Everybody needs an editor—including the editor. |
| w | There’s always room for one more turkey in the refrigerator. |
| w | There are some things that only chocolate can help. |
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| Questions for the Universe |
| w | Why is it that once you reach middle age it is no longer possible to spoil your appetite? |
| w | How come you own more underwear when it’s dirty than you do when it’s clean? (The same goes for dishes.) |
| w | Is it cold in here? |
| w | How does Queen Elizabeth eat a bagel? |
| w | Do somnambulists snore when they’re somnambulating? |
| w | Where are the practice cathedrals? |
| w | How does a bug know what to do next? When a bug sets out on a long trek across a stretch of barren pavement, what kind of decision-making process could possibly have preceded it? |
| w | How does a spider with such a little body produce so much goop? |
| w | Why are the excretory functions separated? |
| w | What makes clean sheets feel tingly? |
| Book and Movie Titles I’d Love to See |
| w | How to Change the Way You Sneeze |
| w | The Vaseline Story |
| w | Garnishing Your Inner Pizza |
| w | Brawn |
| w | The Mouse of God |
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| Mental Adrenaline: Words That Trigger a Rush of Ideas |
| w | True beauty is like God: a fragment of beauty is beauty
complete.
—Auguste Rodin (As quoted on a pedestal in a gallery of the Rodin collection at the Cantor Arts Center at Stanford University, http://museum.stanford.edu/view/rodin.html .) |
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| w | “Jesus was all virtue and acted from impulse, not rules.”
Context: “Blake’s unique image of Christ, simultaneously humanist and antinomian (‘Jesus was all virtue and acted from impulse, not rules’) could be, in the available philosophy, derived only from the inspiration of a ‘madman’. It is exactly the absence of such an affirmative in the complacent doctrine of ‘benevolence’ to be found in the Godwinian circle which alienated Wordsworth and Coleridge. One might add that these affirmatives cannot easily be derived from materialist thought today. That is why every realisation of these values (such as Blake’s) is a plank in the floor upon which the future must walk.” —From “Four units at the personal-political base,” by Peter Cadogan. Found here, 3/2/2002: http://www.globalideasbank.org/inspir/INS-94.HTML |
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| w | Junk is the ideal product. The ultimate merchandise.
No sales talk necessary. The client will crawl through a sewer and
beg to buy. The junk merchant does not sell his product to the consumer,
he sells the consumer to his product. He does not improve and simplify
his merchandise. He degrades and simplifies the client.
—William S. Burroughs
Found along with other good quotes & weird stuff here: http://www.generationterrorists.com/index_quotes.shtml |
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| All-Time Favorite TV Series |
| w | Father Knows Best (1954–1960) |
| w | The Mickey Mouse Club (1955–1959) |
| w | The Adventures of Robin Hood (1955–1960) |
| w | The Twilight Zone (1959–1964) |
| w | Bonanza (1959–1973) |
| w | Ben Casey (1961–1966) |
| w | Medical Center (1969–1976) |
| w | The Mary Tyler Moore Show (1970–1977) |
| w | All in the Family (1971–1979) |
| w | M*A*S*H (1972–1983) |
| w | Barnaby Jones (1973–1980) |
| w | Upstairs, Downstairs (1974–1977) |
| w | Quincy (1976–1983) |
| w | The Paper Chase (1978–1979+) E-mail me to find out how to get this one on DVD. |
| w | Lou Grant (1977–1982) |
| w | Star Trek: The Next Generation (1987–1994) |
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| All-Time Favorite Films |
| w | La Strada (Fellini; Quinn, Masina) |
| w | Cyrano de Bergerac (Ferrer) |
| w | Snow White (Disney) |
| w | Gone with the Wind (Selznick; Gable, Leigh) |
| w | The Wizard of Oz (Garland, Bolger, Lahr) |
| w | Willow (Howard; Kilmer, Davis, Whalley) |
| w | Marie Antoinette (Power, Shearer) |
| w | Elvira Madigan (Degermark) |
| w | A Christmas Carol (Sim) |
| w | Lord of the Rings trilogy (Jackson) |
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| Notes I Wrote Down
in the Middle of the Night in the Serene Confidence That They Would Enable Me to Recall My Brilliant Idea When I Awoke in the Morning |
| w | How existential people really work |
| w | Syllabus |
| w | Wailing sirens of safety |
| w | Logos—word beg. & end |
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| Eavesdroppings: Memorable Lines Overheard by Chance |
| w | “Yes, but did you get the dead skunks out of the bedroom?” [Heard in a bank of public telephones in a San Francisco hotel] |
| w | “This is the first time my daughter’s been in a town that had its own
Safeway.” [Heard in the swimming pool of a KOA camp in Willits, California (pop. 5000)] |
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| Selected Great Lines and Thought-Provoking Remarks by Real People |
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The brink of madness is the point at which the human mind departs from the shared vision of reality. And what is beyond the brink? True understanding of Jahweh. —Nevin the Artist, Summer Solstice 2002 |
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| w | Make
a life out of what’s around you right now. —Mary Ager |
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| w | Gradual
enlightenment just means that it takes a little longer for the 2 x 4 to land between
your eyes. —Dick Amyx |
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| w | I
used to be afraid of dying, but not anymore. I don’t know what will happen when
I do, but I think I’ll find out a lot of stuff. Goodness, I hope so. A simple
explanation would be a great reward to those of us who put up with life long
enough to die naturally. —Laura Copeland |
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| w | You
can’t buy a normal anything anymore. I can’t buy a fucking toothbrush.
They all come with adjectives. —Dick Amyx |
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| Style References Most Often Consulted |
| w | Bernstein, Theodore M., The Careful Writer: A Modern Guide to English Usage (New York: Atheneum, 1965). |
| w | Fowler, H. W., A Dictionary of Modern English Usage, 2nd ed. (Oxford: Oxford University Press, 1965). |
| w | Mager, N. H., & Mager, S. K. Prentice Hall Encyclopedic Dictionary of English Usage, 2nd ed. Englewood Cliffs, N.J.: Prentice Hall, 1993) |
| w | Morris, William & Mary, Harper Dictionary of Contemporary Usage (New York: Harper & Row, 1975). |
| w | Wilson, Kenneth G., The Columbia Guide to Standard American English (New York: MJF Books, 1993). |
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| Best Children’s Books |
| w | The Narnia stories of C. S. Lewis |
| w | The Andrew Lang fairy tales |
| w | The Winnie-the-Pooh books of A. A. Milne |
| w | The Oz books of L. Frank Baum |
| w | The Poky Little Puppy (Little Golden Books) |
| w | The Little Rabbit Who Wanted Red Wings |
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| My Most Inspiring Teachers, Guides, and Heroes |
| w | Jean M. Smith |
| w | Wilbur H. Mullen |
| w | Barbara Polsey, Beechwood Knoll School |
| w | Kay Gilmartin, Beechwood Knoll School |
| w | Eleanor E. Taylor, Central Junior High School |
| w | John Duchesneau, Central Junior High School |
| w | John S. Hofferty, North Quincy High School |
| w | Charles B. O’Hare, Parsons College |
| w | Nels F. S. Ferre, Parsons College |
| w | Michael Cooke, Boston University |
| w | George Starbuck, Boston University |
| w | Bob Dylan |
| w | Mary Ager |
| w | Shakyamuni Buddha |
| w | Jean-François Champollion |
| w | Les Kaye |
| w | Peter Schickele |
| w | Fred Rogers (1928-2003) |
| And—my true role model: | |
| w | The British eccentric |
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| Olympic Events I’d Like to See |
| w | Sock sort. Contestants sort 100 pairs of white socks belonging to their own household. Minimum number of adult-size male sock owners: 3. Sort socks by owner and match in pairs. |
| w | Dish stack. Contestants stack clean dishes in dishrack. Minimum requirements in each of several categories, including glasses, plates, silverware, pots & pans. Bonus points for gravity-defying feats. Special bonus for Chinese-puzzle construction that can be safely dismantled only by removal of the right single item. |
| w | Guilt-off. Teams representing various religions compete for points in three events: (1) taking guilt on themselves, (2) heaping guilt on fellow team members, and (c) laying guilt trips on the audience. Special recognition for teams that successfully make members of other teams feel guilty. |
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| Things That Feel Immense But Are Really Very Tiny |
| w | A poppy seed embedded in your gum |
| w | A pebble in your shoe |
| w | A potato chip crumb in your bra |
| w | A pimple on your bottom |
| w | A pea beneath twenty mattresses (but only if you are a real princess) |
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| Lost Things |
| w | Schneeweisschen und Rosenrot, auf Deutsch, 1949 gift |
| w | Key to the third-floor room at 21 Bromfield Street |
| w | A trunk containing all my treasures, stolen when I was 18 |
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